Book Review: Sherlock Holmes Is On A Mission From God

Deathly Relics is the latest Sherlock Holmes pastiche novel written by Sam Siciliano and is really one of his better entries on to the range from Titan Books.

Once again, Siciliano sidelines Dr. Watson in favor of his own narrator, Dr. Henry Vernier, who is some distant cousin of Holmes’s. Once again, Siciliano does not pass up the chance to disparage Watson’s accounts of the adventures he shared with London’s most celebrated detective. Fortunately, this tendency doesn’t take over the plot, but it is a little puzzling and annoying when it does come up.

Holmes and Vernier are visiting Rome on some diplomatic task for the British government when the Pope sends them a summons. A relic is stolen from the Vatican, and Holmes is asked to use his considerable gifts of detection to locate it. It is said to be the skeletal remains of the forefinger of Saint Thomas. The item in question is mysteriously returned, and the matter seems to have resolved itself. Then, many other relics are purloined, and a security guard is murdered. The trail leads to the doorstep of an Italian crime family, and one of the most ruthless killers Holmes as ever faced is not quite done wielding his stiletto.

I actually don’t mind Siciliano presenting readers with a different narrator. I do find Vernier sort of charming at times. He is a happily married physician, and his wife often gets swept up in the case as well. I just question Siciliano’s insistence on denigrating Arthur Conan Doyle’s original chronicler periodically.

Holmes and Vernier are somewhat compelled to define their own history with the church, which was rather interesting. Siciliano seems critical of some aspects of Catholic practices at times, but he manages to refrain from being too cruel and unfair. There are actually priestly characters who are rather likeable and honorable. Even if Holmes and Vernier question the level of reverence placed on objects, they still maintain some civility and respect for their surroundings.

I am not Catholic by any means, yet I still have a certain curiosity if I ever have the opportunity to visit the Vatican.

The problem with this novel is that it still feels kind of bland. The killer ended up not being all that interesting. He liked to taunt Holmes a bit. The other characters were fine and served the story adequately, but that was about it. The Vatican would be a fascinating place to visit, but it doesn’t feel all that original in a crime novel.

It’s not a terrible addition to the vast catalogue of Sherlock Holmes tales that have been published by so many others since the demise of his creator, but it fails to consistently keep a tight hold on one’s interest.

I have been putting this off long enough, but it’s time to take a trip to the American West; more specifically, to a small Texas town known as Lonesome Dove with the celebrated Larry McMurtry as my guide.

Doctor Who Audio Review: Any Life Saved Is A Victory Against The Daleks

The War Doctor Begins: Warbringer is a Doctor Who audio boxset and does a pretty good job of continuing the chronicles of this incarnation which is known as the War Doctor among the fandom. Jonathon Carley stars as the War Doctor, which was originated by the late John Hurt. This is a story told in three episodes and is directed by Louise Jameson. The War Doctor claims to have no name anymore, but we know who he really is. The guest cast includes Ajjaz Awad, Angela Bruce, Beth Chalmers, Jessica Temple, John Banks, Stephen Frost, and Nicholas Briggs is back behind the mic voicing the Daleks.

The Doctor has regenerated into someone who is more of a warrior and has renounced what has been his identity for centuries. He is still referred to as the Doctor by his allies and enemies to his chagrin, but this incarnation has different priorities and goals than his other selves. Still, he has many of the Doctor’s familiar tendencies. He is still wanting to save lives where he can, and much of his irreverent humor remains intact. This version of the Doctor is still a bit more ruthless and willing to make sacrifices that his other selves would find abhorrent in order to win the war with the Daleks.

There are three connected episodes in this one as usual. The set is interesting and has some spectacular moments in the performances. The technical aspects remain top-notch. Carley’s performance continues to be compelling and uncannily close to how John Hurt probably would have sounded if he was able to continue with this range.

The first episode is entitled Consequences by Timothy X Atack. The War Doctor and a Time Lady named Veklin, played by Chalmers, have crashed on a planet ahead of another ship which is also about to collide. There is also a cyborg woman which a serious case of amnesia. In fact, she becomes known as Case and is portrayed by Ajjaz Awad. The War Doctor is now in the fight and has to find his newfound allies again.

It’s a pretty good start, but there is quite a lot of sound effects and confusing moments which probably would have worked better visually.

Andrew Smith gets to take the listeners into the second story, Destroyer. The War Doctor appears to be a fulfillment of a prophecy for a society that worships war.

Case is becoming more of an interesting addition to the War Doctor’s motley collection of allies. Awad seems to have been a solid casting choice.

There is not that much that is terribly memorable about this episode, but it does hold up. I may just need to listen again and focus better.

Finally, Jonathan Morris, another long-time Doctor Who writer, closes out the set with Saviour, which ends up being more of a flashback story as the War Doctor tells Case how they met. Case was apparently going to be converted into a Dalek before the War Doctor found her and put a stop to that atrocity.

There was an effort to present the story in a somewhat creative way when it comes to the order, and it works.

There is quite a lot of action which would work better in a visual format, but the sound effects remain top-class. The War Doctor is proving to be a fascinating piece of the history. I was not a big fan of the introduction of this incarnation in the television series, but John Hurt’s acclaim and respect in the entertainment industry is well-earned. Carley does very well with his impression. Although I am a little leery of recasting roles, I have become more tolerant of the practice in the audio format.

Big Finish Production has released another solid addition to the range. It’s not exactly the crème de la crème of the range, it would still be inadvisable to pass this one by. It’s a long way from the bottom of the barrel, and the release does achieve the purpose of propelling the War Doctor deeper into the Time War.

Film Review: Forgetting Is Not Really A Gift

Blink Twice is a pretty interesting yet gruesome thriller directed by Zoe Kravitz, which she also co-wrote with E.T. Feigenbaum. It has a fairly impressive cast which includes Channing Tatum, Naomie Ackie, Christian Slater, Haley Joel Osment, Adria Arjona, Geena Davis, and Kyle MacLachlan.

A couple of banquet waitresses who are best friends and roommates meet a tech mogul played by Tatum and are invited to his private paradise island. The getaway starts off quite nicely with all sorts of extravagant luxury and a fair bit of intoxication. It’s just a typical getaway with a bunch of rich, immature middle-aged delinquents. It does seem kind of fun until the main heroine, Frida, loses track of her friends and discovers some gaps in her memory. There is a maid that seems to recognize but does not speak English. The vacation starts to get a good deal creepier until Frida’s memory block collapses with the aid of some snake venom. She gains an ally as well and finds that her vacation has a far more sinister motivation behind it.

This is Kravitz’s first effort as a director, and it isn’t too bad. The beginning does seem to drag a little, but it does get better once more of the mystery becomes evident. Ackie ends up being an effective lead. Tatum even shows a bit of surprising range as the story unfolds.

There are some strange camera angles and lots of cutaways that are bit jarring. Some of that is understandable considering that much of the story deals with fragmented memories. I thought Kravitz was a little too liberal with the close-ups at times. I wasn’t a fan of some of the technical decisions involving the shooting of the film.

Overall, the film is not bad. There were some moments of real effective suspense. The performances were pretty good for the most part. It was kind of cool to see Slater and Osment in this because it seems like it’s been a while since I have seen them in a major film release. They probably have been working more than I remember, but it just seemed to me aa long time since I have seen them on the big screen.

There were some loose ends in the story as well. The ending seems to leave some pretty glaring unanswered questions. I was dubious of some of the layers in the story.

It’s an odd film but effective and pretty interesting. It does have more going for it than not, but some of the flaws are a little hard to ignore or forgive.

I think Kravitz’s directorial debut is a success all things considered. Tatum may actually have some range as an actor. I doubt this will be a major classic, but I think Kravitz can have some legitimate pride here.

Doctor Who Audio Review: The Doctor Gets Recruited

Big Finish Productions has a new collection of Twelfth Doctor audio dramas in the set entitled You Only Die Twice, and it’s okay. Jacob Dudman returns to mic doing his impression of Peter Capaldi’s version of the Time Lord. Lisa Bowerman serves as the director of this trilogy of episodes. Bhavnisha Parmer returns as Big Finish companion known as Keira Sanstrom. Nicholas Asbury is the main villain known as Belias, who apparently resembles the traditional depiction of Satan. Other guest cast members include Maggie Bain, Georgina Beedle, Robert Daws, Richard Braine, and Clare Corbett.

The Doctor gets whisked away by Time Agent Keira Sanstrom to help her find some stolen time weapons. The Doctor is an unwilling recruit of the Time Agency, but he manages to get a good adventure out of it.

Sunstrike by Georgia Cook is the first episode in this collection. The Doctor is sent to an auction among the galaxy’s worst villains at a resort. He meets someone known as the Quartermaster, played by Robert Daws.

This is apparently a riff on James Bond movies, and it is fairly amusing. Parmer ends up being a welcome return since her banter with the Doctor is rather charming.

Dudman does pretty well with capturing the gist of Capaldi’s interpretation of the role, but his impressions of David Tennant and Matt Smith are better.

The second episode is Never the End Is by Ben Tedds. The Doctor and Keira arrive in seventeenth century Austria where they meet a painter who has impossible visions, and they are not the only ones from the Time Agency on site.

The episode is not terrible due largely to the performances and sound engineering. It’s not all that memorable except for the cliffhanger which suggests a rather shocking betrayal.

Finally, Fio Trethewey brings this set to a close with You Only Die Twice where the Doctor goes head-to-head against Belias and is uncertain who are really is allies.

The set was pretty interesting, but I had a hard time seeing or hearing how it stands out all that much. Big Finish often has some real triumphs in its storytelling, but this one just ends up not being disastrous.

Still, Dudman’s performance is quite good, and the release is still worth trying out. I will likely give this one another listen, so I may end up enjoying it more once I understand the action sequences a little better. The boxset is not without its charm, but it is mildly disappointing.

Book Review: Fugitives Bring A Tornado Of Trouble To Sheriff Quinn Colson

The Broken Place is a fairly decent thriller by Ace Atkins and features Sheriff Quinn Colson of Tibbehah County Mississippi.

Colson is a former United States Army Ranger who returns home and finds that corruption and murder has taken root in the town of Jericho. Colson is elected sheriff and attempts to bring some actual order to his home county. He is the right man for the job, but a lot of wrong people still find their way into his town.

This novel starts off with a couple of dangerous convicts escaping and heading to Colson’s county to find a former prison mate who claims to have been reformed. Quinn’s sister has fallen for a local preacher who was recently pardoned after a murder conviction. The two fugitives believe that this preacher, Jamey Dixon, has stolen money hid away from a previous robbery they committed. The sheriff her to protect his family as well as the community from the murderous havoc these fugitives are willing to bring. Not only that, but a storm is also brewing which will bring a tornado tearing through the county. Colson also finds that he may not be able to rely on the integrity of some of the other law enforcement agents getting in on the manhunt.

Ace Atkins is probably best known for taking over the continuation of the Spenser series of novels after the death of Robert B. Parker. He has this Quinn Colson series out there which does have an interesting set-up. Quinn Colson is not that unusual of a protagonist in these tough guy thrillers. Colson is predictably stoic and practical but also strangely reassuring in the midst of chaos. He manages to not totally lose his edge even when his sister is threatened.

Other than the setting, Atkins is not really breaking new ground, but the novel is still interesting. The main villain is a killer named Esau Davis, and he carries a complicated moral compass at times which does make him interesting most of the time.

I do like Colson’s style when interacting with some of the shifty local political figures in the story. There’s a pretty loathsome creature named Johnny Stagg, who makes a pretty engaging foil for Colson. Stagg is the local crime lord with political clout who has a sort of strange, sly courage when he has to contend with Esau as well.

There were a few interesting twists and turns, and Colson is definitely a guy one wants during a crisis. Too bad he’s a fictional character. I also liked the open question as whether or not Jamey Dixon was truly redeemed man or not. Not every question the story raises has an easy resolution, and it’s good that Atkins is willing to take that approach in this particular series.

London has no shortage of crime and corruption, but Sherlock Holmes is there as usual to root that out. This time, author Sam Siciliano has assigned him to look into the matter of Deathly Relics.

Film Review: Ripley Isn’t Helping Out This Time

Alien: Romulus is a science fiction horror film that could have been another disastrous sequel to a possibly overdone franchise, but it actually is a pretty solid entry into the series that began all the way back in 1979 with Sigourney Weaver in the starring role. Fede Alvarez directed the film, which he also co-wrote with Rodo Sayagues. I actually just learned that the aliens are actually referred to Xenomorphs. I guess I didn’t pay close enough attention to remember that.

The film’s cast includes Cailee Spaeny, David Jonsson, Archie Renaux, Isabela Merced, Spike Feam, and Aileen Wu. An interesting addition to the cast is a little difficult to explain. The image of the late Ian Holm is back as a synthetic named Rook, who resembles the character known as Ash from the first film. Daniel Betts provides the voice, but I thought it was interesting to have that connection in this film, which I read was approved by Holm’s family.

Spaeny plays the lead character, Rain Carradine, who is trying to leave a colony known as Jackson’s Star. She cares for an adopted brother, who is actually a synthetic human named Andy, who apparently suffers from some kind of brain damage. Rain meets with friends who have learned that they could get to a derelict space craft with cryostasis chambers that could help them get to a much better colony. The group manages to board what turns out to be a space station that is divided into two parts. Of course, the Xenomorphs have escaped and are waiting for fresh prey. The synthetic human known as Andy also finds that a corruption to his system is in store for him as well. As the kids try to survive, they are also victim of a corrupt company that are planning to weaponize the Xenomorphs.

This film doesn’t pack the same punch as the first two films in the franchise, but it’s effective enough. The cast was quite good. Spaeny does not appear as formidable as Weaver’s character Ripley, but that seems to work in the film’s favor. The cast is pretty young, but they were good. I enjoyed David Jonsson’s performance because Andy has a dramatic character change in the story, and he carries it off quite convincingly.

The special effects were pretty impressive. There is also a new version of the Xenomorph that shows up, and that was an interesting twist near the end.’

Alvarez is a pretty solid director and knows how to make the most of an opportunity to creep out the audience.

I understand this film is supposed to take place between Alien and Aliens, and it does pretty well with making that connection to the other installments.

I was a little concerned this would be a waste of time, but I was pleasantly surprised and impressed. I still wish Hollywood would do more to create more original content instead of revisiting these ancient franchises, but every now and then a solid release hits the screen.

Doctor Who Audio Review: The Blitz, Vashta Nerada, And The Supernova

The Seventh Doctor returns for a couple of new audio adventures with Harry Sullivan and Naomi Cross in this boxset of Doctor Who audio plays entitled Far From Home from Big Finish Productions. The set also includes a short audiobook entitled Frozen Worlds performed by Sophie Aldred. Sylvester McCoy reprises his role as the Doctor’s seventh incarnation and is joined again by Christopher Naylor as Harry Sullivan and Eleanor Crooks as Naomi Cross. Samuel Clemens is the tapped to direct this set. There are two full-cast episodes and an audiobook.

The first story is Operation Dusk by Alfie Shaw and has the Doctor and his two friends facing off with those shadowy creatures known as the Vashta Nerada during the London Blitz during the Second World War in 1940. The story begins with the Doctor being requested to help investigate the death of a female British agent. The Doctor finds that the Vashta Nerada have been weaponized by another extraterrestrial presence, and a Nazi invasion may be the least of the threats facing Britain.

The guest cast is made up of Pepter Lunkuse, Leon Parris, Emily Raymond, and Nicholas Rowe. Rowe is best known for a long-ago role in Young Sherlock Holmes and is fantastic as the duplicitous Sebastian Hardcastle.

It’s a solid story, but the Second World War is getting a little overused in this range. The Seventh Doctor has spent a lot of time in that era, and it’s getting hard to see episodes as particularly special when he visits the war and the Blitz yet again. The story is interesting enough, and I am enjoying the banter between this Doctor, Harry, and Eleanor.

Naylor has been playing Harry Sullivan for some time now, but the part was originated by the late Ian Marter during the first season of Tom Baker’s era. Naylor does a pretty good job of capturing Sullivan’s awkward charm as well as his steadfast courage even when he yearns for a quieter life. Crooks continues to become more captivating as Naomi Cross, who is more willing to face the challenges and dangers of traveling with the Doctor. Cross shares a lot of similarity with many of the Doctor’s more recent female companions in that she is spunky and liberal-minded. There is kind of a deadpan humor to her demeanor that does make her stand out a bit more. The more time I spend with Naomi, the more I come to appreciate her and her relationship with Harry.

The Vashta Nerada being Earth is bound to happen, and it’s kind of a fun idea to have an earlier Doctor face adversaries that the audience first met in the rebooted television series. There are some interesting twists and reveals, but the episode was of fairly average quality in spite of the best efforts of the cast. I think the overuse of the World War II setting sort of soured my enjoyment of this episode, but Shaw is still a thoughtful and imaginative writer and will hopefully remain a consistent contributor to the range.

The second story is Naomi’s Ark by Alison Winter and takes the TARDIS crew far out into space and well into the future. The guest cast is made up of Bethany Antonia, Nino Furuhata, Indra Ove, and Bridgitta Roy.

Naomi gets separated from the Doctor and Harry during an evacuation of a space station during a supernova. A traveling group of colonists rescue the Doctor and Harry while Naomi is picked up by what is apparently the galactic equivalent of teen-agers taking the parents’ car out for a joyride.

Naomi gets a well-deserved moment to shine as she tries to take responsibility for her rescuers and reunite with her companions. Crooks’ performance as Naomi starts to understand the situation her hapless, immature saviors are in is quite well executed. It was done with some of the typically quirky Doctor Who humor, and Crooks delivers masterfully.

The Doctor has his own hands full trying to convince the leader of the colonists to turn back to retrieve his TARDIS and he uses some powers of persuasion that does not sit well with him. McCoy remains in top form as well.

I think the second story is better overall. Operation Dusk isn’t really bad, but I just connected better with the second one. The set overall is still worth the time.

Finally, we have this little audiobook written by Katharine Armitage called Frozen Worlds. Sophie Aldred puts in a compelling performance, but the story was not that interesting to me. Ace has fallen into some portal where she is in different dimensions and trying to get back to the Doctor. Armitage is a competent writer, but I had some trouble staying all that interested in the story despite Aldred’s obvious vocal talent. I may just need to revisit the story to see if I can understand it better.

Far From Home as a whole has a few cracks in the overall experience, but there are some powerful moments. The main cast work together well. McCoy still maintains a commanding presence with his version of the Doctor.

The quality of the soundscape is still top tier from Big Finish. Even is this set does not quite hit it out of the park for me, it’s still a worthy addition to the Big Finish collection.

Book Review: The Mystery Of Gillian Taylor

Lost to Eternity is the latest Star Trek novel by Greg Cox and is definitely one of the better releases in some time. The novel is a little complicated because there are three story threads interwoven throughout the pages until the common threat comes to light. It serves as a sequel to the film Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, but it’s more of a treat than just that.

It begins in the present year of 2024 with a true podcaster named Melinda Silver who has decided to examine the peculiar circumstance surrounding the disappearance of marine biologist Gillian Taylor, who disappeared almost four decades earlier. Of course, the aforementioned film reveals that Dr. Taylor joined Captain James Kirk and the crew of the Starship Enterprise who had hijacked a Klingon warship, traveled through time to retrieve a couple of humpback whales to communicate with a probe that was tearing Earth apart in the twenty-third century. None of that is known to Melinda as she interviews several witnesses that tell her of a strange man who jumped into the whale tank, a Russian who was captured on a United States naval vessel that same day, and an old woman who grew a new kidney while at the hospital.

In the year 2268, Captain Kirk and his crew are sent to find an apparently abducted Federation scientist who is also being sought by the Klingons as well. The search takes them to a primitive world where a mysterious man is ruthlessly trying to achieve immortality.

The next mission takes place in 2292 and has Captain Kirk and his crew to participate in an effort to convince an ancient race known as the Osari who have decided to come out of isolation and interact with its galactic neighbors. The Osari are also interested in meeting the Romulans and the Klingons. The diplomatic mission seems to have a promising start until one of the Osari is apparently killed and a familiar Starfleet officer and Romulan subcommander are missing and presumed dead. Yet again, a secret adversary is manipulating the crisis, and the quest for eternal life has continued but at a fatal price.

I can sometimes be critical of Star Trek novelists spending too much dredging up sequels of old episodes or films, but Cox actually does it pretty uniquely here. He turns some of the extra bystanders into real characters here. I was actually motivated to rewatch the film a few days ago to identify the potential characters who Melida interviewed. Of course, it’s a fun movie overall.

The adversary is a new threat to the crew and their missions, so that was most welcome.

Cox does get a little overindulgent on referencing prior episodes at times, but for the most part, this contribution hits all the right marks. The main characters are depicted pretty accurately. There is an appropriate number of space battles and phaser fights.

Books that are tied to television or film franchises are often hit or miss, but Cox hits what could be a metaphorical bullseye here.

After my brief return to the twenty-third century, my next read will bring me to Tibbehah County, Mississippi where Sheriff Quinn Colson has some fixing up to do in The Broken Places by Ace Atkins.

Film Review: Strange Shrieks In The Night

Cuckoo is a science fiction horror film, written and directed by Tilman Singer, that happens to be one of the more fairly interesting additions to the genre in recent cinematic history.

The cast includes Hunter Schafer, Dan Stevens, Jessica Henwick, Marton Csokas, and Greta Fernandez.

The film begins with a young girl stepping outside into the night to escape the disturbing sounds of her arguing parents. A peculiar shriek emanating from the woods triggers a seizure in the girl, and she suddenly sprints off into the night.

Most of the film centers on a teenager named Gretchen who is moving with her father and his family to the German Alps because he has accepted a job to construct an updated resort. Gretchen meets the owner who has employed her father and is offered a job at the front desk of the current hotel. It does not take her long to notice women vomiting suddenly in her lobby. She also has a younger sister who also suddenly becomes prone to seizures especially when an unusual shriek is blaring out of the woods. A strange, hooded woman has started stalking her. Time loops start occurring around people when the shriek cuts loose. Gretchen is not happy to be away from her home, especially since her mother had recently died. These mysterious occurrences and troubling cries do little to reassure her.

The film has some interesting twists that are unexpected. This isn’t really a ghost or monster story. There is an unexpected science fiction element that comes to light

The performances are pretty good. Hunter Schafer does well in the lead role of Gretchen. The cast is not that well-known, which I think helps with immersing yourself into the story.

The film is a little overhyped in the advertisements. I don’t think it’s the latest horror masterpiece, but it does have some uniqueness to the story. It does well with exhibiting that distinctive European favor, and it does have a bit more originality than what has been released in the past few years.

Fans of the more macabre corners of the cinematic scene will likely find some welcome chills here. Although I doubt that this will be a film I will sit through multiple times over the next few years, it is one that has a pretty engaging premise and is one of the better cinematic experiences of this past year.

Film Review: Lillith Comes Home To Pandora

Borderlands is a science fiction action-comedy film based on a video game that does not quite reach mediocre status. Yeah, I should have researched this one a bit more before wasting my time.

The film is directed by Eli Roth who also co-wrote the screenplay with Joe Crombie. It’s based on a video game released by Gearbox Software. The cast is not without talent, but it would be fair to question their judgment for their participation. Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Ariana Greenblatt, Edgar Ramirez, Florian Munteanu, and Jamie Lee Curtis are included in the cast.

On some planet in the far future or something like that, Lillith, a cynical and effective bounty hunter, is contracted to retrieve some rich guy’s daughter who was apparently kidnapped by one of his own mercenaries. She reluctantly returns to her home planet known as Pandora because that is where the trail leads. She meets the rogue soldier known as Roland, who is played by Kevin Hart. Apparently, the precocious and bomb-lobbing girl, Tiny Tina, is actually not all that keen to return to her father’s clutches. Lillith decides to ally herself to Roland and Tina in their efforts to open something known as Pandora’s Vault. It becomes more evident that Lillith’s past is the key to this ragtag group of treasure seekers and renegades staying alive and unlocking the Vault.

There are a couple of merits to this film. I enjoyed Greenblatt’s antics as Tiny Tina. I wouldn’t mind seeing her in something else that has a better script. The special effects and action scenes were kind of fun. The casting itself wasn’t too bad. Even Kevin Hart managed to carry some credibility in his fight scenes. Hart gets ribbed a bit for being rather short, but he is a pretty fit guy and can pull off a fairly convincing fight scene.

The problem is that most of the wisecracks did not land all that solidly. The story is rather stale. This is another circumstance where a video game just fails to translate all that smoothly to the cinema.

I did notice that the Rotten Tomatoes score is extreme low, and the film does deserve most of the hate. I did not find the film to be all that terrible. Greenblatt and Jack Black, who is the voice of the obnoxious robot almost make it watchable at times.

I actually didn’t find the film to be the most terrible one I have endured, but the mediocrity and wasted potential was quite evident and rather exasperating.

Better luck next time, Eli.